Our Suffering should be composted in the earth, not kept in the kitchen to be stinky.
My partner said to me the other day: “learning the art of letting go, you are free to find your blessings.” Here is more of the context after a day when new memories came in.
** potential trigger ** if you have a history of sexual trauma please check in to see if you are in a space to read about it, and skip over if you might not be. Self-care is first. 🙂
Reflecting on skirts and dresses versus pants and this whole gender/identify/trans/feminism issues that seem to have triggered so much in so many in Madison lately. Skirts literally make access much easier to the private parts. They are rape-enabling clothing. This comes from personal experience as a child. I felt so much less safe.
I think one of the reasons the trans/women thing is so volatile is it’s overlaying profound violating wounds from both experiences.
My experience as a cis-woman – we live in a rape culture that revolves around violating the pussy, a biological organ that incurs harassment and violence at any age. Not that rape limited to only those who appear female — rape can and does happen to every gender — it literally is a wound any of us can carry no matter what our appearance or identification. But our culture teaches us it is grounded in being a woman, the harassment that can be daily. The assumption women are unsafe alone etc.
I think we need to name the wounds clearly as possible mindful as possible to not add extra baggage or assumptions. To name and own the pain. Stop ourselves from taking the easy step of hating on others who do not “fit” exactly our expectations. Because the pain is shared. Nobody by any category is special in being free of it.
My grandfather-pedaphiliac freak of a man called me George and referred to me as a “he” until the age of 7 when he stopped molesting me. I guess he knew it wasn’t safe for me to be a girl around him. Here’s a painting of me in a dress he molested me in when I was 7. She’s in a better spot now, protected by the flower, finally free to play.
