Traumatic memories particularly at a young age are automatically distorted. Managing the trauma means the memories are not standard. Those of us who have repressed memories are challenged with finding our way forward. For me memory only matters how they affect my present. Do they make it hard for me to function? Is my heart heavy? Body memories are hard because our bodies remember sometimes better than our brains in our consciousness does. Trapped in our body we can re-experience the physical pain we suffered years and decades ago as if it were happening now.
My realization today is that I reclaimed a lot of my own power when I stopped betraying myself.
Other people have a right to believe whatever they choose. I believe in free will and support it. I am not afraid of other people’s beliefs, and in fact embrace understanding them better. I think that is part of the misnomer of “safe space.” We need to be strong and hear other perspectives besides our own and still give the power of decision to ourselves. I have seen “safe space” defined as creating a space free of difference, a space where one cannot be challenged. Nothing could be worse for us. And I mean the society as a whole — all humans are stronger in diversity — literally and metaphorically. We make better decisions when we consider as many aspects of a problem as possible.
On a related note, I think the term “victim” as a word has a lot of challenges. It can disempower us. Make us feel powerless. But, unless we are a child, we have a lot of choices. Choices on how we respond to what we encounter in our environment. I do not take advantage of that often enough. Reality and patterns can easily be changed we have to be willing to be open that there are more possibilities than we can see and to make room for that change. We have to be willing to bring that forward different results. We cannot be carrying what we have learned “what must be” in our head for then we impose those limits on the present (and the future!). We create the limits ourselves without even realizing it. This is very important right now.